02/12/10

It's been an interesting week, and a bit to be honest I am glad things came out that did, and glad that people reacted the way they have.
It showed me some things and I mean lets be honest parts of it tickled me pink in a way i can not even begin to express.
Something someone near and dear said to me very recently sums up part of it...
"Cupcakes through your mail slot? Is that some Canadian metaphor I'm not familiar with or is he bat-shit crazy?"
Yup bat-shit crazy because the cup cake incident was literal. I shit you not.
But that's okay because that particular person is mad i didn't fall down to his feet thankful for the cupcake and is no longer speaking to me.
*does a little dance*

My list of friends has also gotten a little shorter for my own reasoning.. a remark was made that I can not even begin to wrap my head around why this person thought something like that would EVER be okay to say. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
Until finally I decided that there was nothing that could be said or done that would ever make me okay with it.

Honestly, its like not its the first thing to come out of the persons mouth and it likely would not have been the last, but i was getting more and more uncomfortable with it, so it had to be dealt with.

I dislike confrontation after I have been made to feel uncomfortable - it leaves me vulnerable and insecure. Once I have that with someone, then there's no going back. That's just how it is.
You've lost whatever bond may have been there.

I'm learning to be okay with that because I deserve to be respected and not have to deal with little suggestive comments and bullshit.
I deserve more then that just as I deserve more then someones misery.
If you are going to be in someones life and only give them your misery then what is the point?
I've also come to realize that someone I have known for a long time, and gone through a lot of shit with has been less then honest.

I guess i shouldn't be surprized but i will say this.
I won't be the one saving you from yourself next time.. fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me..
I know better now.
I mean seriously if you are going to hide and lie about something at least learn to do it less obviously.
You bad mouth your ex but honestly you are no better then her in my books.

I've managed to screw up my morning meds the last two mornings - I've just been out of it.
My plan for the next couple of days while i wait for my Wednesday to come is to throw myself into books.
C'mon Wednesday!