[Re]Focusing

I have a lot I should be doing right now.. but Im sure I can still get it all done by the time I really need to.

Winter, has finally decided to hit here.. the cold weather is here and the snow no less. I am not a fan but it is what it is. We can't run away from it so we might as well just deal as they say.

Besides I have my stack of books beside me from the library to try to chug through with out having to check them out a second time. But they may have to be - one of them is a slow read, one i have yet to really start, one I am half way through and the last one.. is slow and has hard to understand dialogue.
To be honest that one I am unsure if I will be able to get through based on the one characters speech alone.

But books aside - I also have almost a dozen oranges to make into OJ w/ a juicer that, is slightly beat up but ever faithful. The handle is broken off but with the small exception of being a bit weird to pour the juice out you don't really notice that.
In fact i think the machine turns less now, which is good because it wasn't suppose to come loose and turn to begin with.

I've found a new program that I have to admit I love - PDF Creator, it makes my life so much easier. You know when you find a ton of sites brimming with things you want to read but a thousand tabs up becomes to much on the screen?
This way it saves the pages and the info on said page in the PDF for me and opens it when I save it.. much less on the screen that way.

Not to mention i can put the PDF on my phone and read it in bed, in the car or where ever.

I've been doing more reading on Buddhism lately - for my own development and I love it honestly, not for the religious side but more the spiritual development side, the mental side,
I was reading one article but how we see things and how they really are and I realized that yeah we all do that every day. Perception. Its never the same to two people and it can colour everything.

There has been some mild drama going on with someone I know that wants to get closer to me and as nice as that is to hear i just don't have the same connection with this person. The L word has come out and no not me.

A recent post they made on facebook of all places, really showed me that I need to step back from everything that is going on with this person - its hard for me to dislike, hate, or turn someone away but I am teh one that has been getting hurt way too often.

I need to stop focusing on everyone else and looking after me because no one is going to do that for me.
So now its my time to focus on me and my big picture.

I Might have family down for the night tomorrow but thats if she doesn't cancel because of the weather. My fingers are crossed. Honestly, I'm kinda freaked about it.
Sure she gave birth to me many moons ago, but she also left when I was old enough to remember and its not like shes tried to get to know me in the last couple years.
And she is a raging alcoholic. Not fun.
They both are. So I'm worried about how this is going to go.
I imagine I will know with in the last few hrs if she cancels and I will either go into hectic insane mode to make my house perfect or sigh a sigh of relief have a tea and read.

But for now its off to clean my room and get ready to go shopping and do a load of laundry.